


You Wrote 100 Letters (Just For Me)

by silverknees



Series: Stucky Bingo 2019 [4]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Established Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Love Letters, M/M, Making Love, Pen Pals, Sexting, Stucky - Freeform, Stucky Bingo 2019, Wartime, in the form of letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 07:46:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19330183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverknees/pseuds/silverknees
Summary: In 2015, Steve finds the letters between himself and Bucky during the war, hidden by Howard Stark.They're... revealing, to say the least, and they make him realize something that Bucky never told him.My interpretation of the "Pen Pals AU" square on my bingo card





	You Wrote 100 Letters (Just For Me)

**Author's Note:**

> This work was Beta'd by the brilliant Gabby, and any remaining mistakes are wholly my own.
> 
> This work comes with a soundtrack! You can listen to it [here.](https://8tracks.com/oddessyus/you-wrote-100-letters-just-for-me)

 

 

_Dear Buck,_

_Feels stupid writing that, honestly. Am I just supposed to say “hey”? That don’t feel right, either. But hey, it’s not meant to feel right, ‘cause you’re not here._

_‘m real sorry I couldn’t come with ya, Buck. I know you wouldn’t’a wanted me to, I know you worry, but I just feel so useless, sittin’ at home like a housewife while my fella’s off servin’. I worry, too. Y’know that, right? Some nights I can hardly sleep, ‘n it’s not just ‘cause y’ain’t here to keep me warm._

_You always say that I ain’t got no sense of self-preservation, but you ‘n I both know you’re just the same, Buck. You’d always jump in my fights, never could stand back ‘n watch someone else get hurt. I love that ‘bout you, but it fuckin’ terrifies me, too._

_Sometimes I get a letter, ‘bout work or somethin’, but every time they come through the damn door I can only think ‘bout you gettin’ hurt. I don’t even wanna write ‘bout the other option._

_I love you, Buck. Keep yourself safe. Come home to me._

_All my love,_

_Your Stevie._

_P.S. – Becky says hello, ‘n she wanted me to send you this photograph of her in her new uniform. She’s so grown up, Buck, she’s workin’ now. She sends her love too._

_P.P.S – I sent you another photograph, jus’ to remind you of home. ‘n me. Don’t open it in front’a your unit though, bud._

 

* * *

_Stevie,_

_You’re a real fuckin’ mother hen, ain’t ya? All the way ‘cross the Atlantic and still worryin’ ‘bout little old me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind. But I’m okay, Stevie. Promise. You better be lookin’ after yourself, too, now I’m not there to make sure._

_The food here ain’t nowhere near as good s’yours, so don’t put yourself down. You’re the perfect little housewife, Stevie._

_Speakin’ of which, that photograph you sent nearly killed me faster than any Nazi. Fuckin’ hell, Stevie, where’d you get that stuff? Did Becky give it to ya? Either way, you’re so fuckin’ pretty, Stevie. Wish I was back there so I could push that lace to the side and fuck your pretty little ass, just like you’re practically beggin’ me to in that picture._

_Hard hidin’ that one from the boys, ‘specially since I’m gettin’ off to it practically every night. You can’t do that to a man, Stevie. Always were a tease, huh?_

_Anyway, send Becky my love and tell her she looks professional as all hell; my baby sister workin’!_

_All the rest of my love goes straight to you, though, Stevie. I know ‘m a sap, but it’s true. I love you more than anythin’._

_Look after yourself, Stevie._

_Yours,_

_Buck_

* * *

 

_Buck,_

_You’ve still got a filthy fuckin’ mouth, even when you’re not actually talkin’, huh? I ain’t sayin’ I mind, but I do miss your mouth. In more than one way, if you catch my meanin’._

_When I got your letter I spread myself open, thinkin’ bout you the whole time, f’course. Got myself all wet and open for you, just like you’d do with your fingers ‘n your tongue. I was all messy when I was done, slick and come everywhere. You’d know that, though, ‘cause I sent a picture._

_I know I’d look prettier if it was your come, though, Buck._

_This letter’s short, I’m sorry ‘bout that, but hopefully I’ll have some good news for you next time!_

_All my love,_

_Stevie_

* * *

 

_[Sealed letter from Sergeant James B. Barnes to Mr. Steve Rogers_

_Could not be delivered due to the recipient no longer occupying this address._

_Letter returned to original sender.]_

* * *

_Stevie, my Stevie,_

_They sent my last letter back. Apparently, you don’t live there anymore._

_I can only think of one reason you’d leave the apartment, leave_ our _apartment._

_‘m sorry I left. ‘m sorry I couldn’t be there. I’ll never forgive myself._

_I love you, Stevie._

_‘til the end of the line._

 

[Letter found, unsent, in the possessions of Sergeant James B. Barnes after his death.]

 

* * *

 

Steve looked up from the letters, his eyes wet. He bit his lip, brushing his fingers over the delicate paper. Howard had kept them, hidden them, and Tony had given them to Steve when he opened the little metal box and saw the names on the first envelope.

He felt his face crumple and dropped the missive, biting the heel of his hand to muffle his quiet sobs. He could have sat there for less than a minute, maybe hours, but when the door creaked open he was still sat in the same position, his shoulders hunched over and shaking.

 

“Stevie?” a hand brushed his hair out of his face, and Steve looked up to see Bucky crouching in front of him. He didn’t say anything – he couldn’t – he just threw himself into Bucky’s arms, clinging to his shirt and waiting for his tears to pass.

Bucky’s strong arms cradled Steve, stroking his hair gently until his sobs ceased and his breathing returned to normal.

“You wanna tell me what happened, bud?” Bucky gently prodded, his eyes soft. Steve just bit his lip, gesturing his head towards the pile of letters on the floor of their bedroom, the final one that had stayed unopened for seventy years.

Bucky took in the sight, and he must have recognised the importance of the papers as his face drained of colour. “Oh, Stevie,” he whispered, holding him even closer.

 

“You thought I was dead,” Steve choked out, his eyes threatening to well up again. “You never told me…” he trailed off as Bucky’s hand came to grasp his chin, lifting it up to meet his eyes.

“You came back to me, Steve,” Bucky whispered, barely audible. “And then I came back to you. We’ll always come back to each other, you and me.”

A sob rose in Steve’s chest, and he pressed his lips to Steve’s to prevent it. Steve’s lips tasted salty, wet from where his tears had fallen, and Bucky kissed it away, only breaking away to whisper how much he loved Steve, how nothing could ever keep them apart.

 

“Bucky,” Steve’s voice, still thick with emotion, had gone low. “Make love to me?”

In answer, Bucky kissed him again, long and slow and deep, before dragging himself away and offering his hand to Steve, who accepted it. They walked the few steps over to the bed, lying down on the cool sheets. Bucky remembered changing them that morning, a snippet of domesticity that made him smile before Steve kissed him again.

They undressed each other slowly, kissing exposed collarbones and wrists and hips until they were skin to skin, their breathing heavy. Bucky rolled on top of Steve, slicking his fingers with the little bottle of lube they kept on the bedside table before reaching between them and sliding a finger into the tight heat of Steve’s body.

Steve’s eyes fluttered shut and his mouth fell open at the intrusion, and he stayed almost entirely motionless as Bucky worked first one, then a second finger into him. If it was anyone else, Bucky would have worried, but he knew from years (and years, and years) of experience that Steve found it easier to bear the burn this way.

 

When Steve’s opening was slightly less tight, Bucky slowly pulled out his fingers, kissing away the moan that Steve let out at their loss. He lined himself up with the man under him, pressing soft kisses to his jaw and neck as he sunk in to the root.

At the feeling of Bucky bottoming out inside him, Steve groaned, the loudest noise he’d made since the start. He was usually quiet in bed, but Bucky could tell that tonight he’d be more vocal.

His suspicions weren’t unfounded, as within a minute of Bucky pushing in Steve was pleading for him to move. Bucky relented, shallowly rocking his hips into his lover’s, whispering platitudes into his skin as one hand stroked Steve’s erection and the other played with the hair at the nape of his neck, where it was softest.

 

It didn’t take long like this; Bucky’s gentle thrusts and slow pulls enough to draw a writhing, squirming orgasm from Steve, who chanted Bucky’s name under his breath as he came ribbons over their stomachs. Bucky followed soon after, entirely silent but for a single exhalation of Stevie, and held him tightly as he rode out the aftershocks.

 

In the aftermath, when Bucky pulled out and lay beside Steve, their hands entwined, Steve rolled onto his side, his eyes molten as he gazed over at Bucky.

 

“I love you, Buck,” he murmured, his eyelashes casting shadows on his high cheekbones.

Bucky drew their hands up, pressing a gentle kiss to Steve’s knuckles.

“I love you too, Stevie. ‘til the end of the line.”

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on [tumblr](http://professorxxxavier.tumblr.com/)!


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